Funny that you should say that….

My kid, seriously, she’s a riot!

This morning, as we were driving to daycare, we were chatting about our house and the winter and life in general.  She confides in me that she must practice her ‘scoops’ – the arm movement she learned in last year’s swim class.

I asked her if she planned on going swimming anytime soon, as the weather was getting much cooler already.  She told me that she thought we should have a pool at our house.  I told her, quite honestly, that pools are very expensive and cost a lot of money.

She paused, and then very matter-of-factly stated, “Mommy, I have a lot of money.  It’s in my money cup.”

Well Q, I don’t think 3 quarters and a penny will buy us a pool, but the offer was appreciated!

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What am I thinking?

There have been more than enough confessions of a serial dieter,  but I still can’t help looking for the next thing that will keep me engaged.

The latest attempts include:

T25 (http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/focus-t25-workout.do?e=272945):  I work in main office of my company and there are maybe 15 people total at this location.  The big boss decided he wanted to construct an on-site gym, so now there are a few pieces of equipment, some free weights and a BowFlex.  But it did start to spread the fitness bug around…while there is an elite group following the program to a tee, I am on the bandwagon for Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 430pm.  25 minutes baby…

21 Day Fix (http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/21-day-fix-simple-fitness-eating.do):  I got into this one (another Beach Body program) because a friend started doing it and was getting great results.  I should have known better…while the workouts are great (and not as hard as T25), there are these color-coded containers that you use.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hungry or anything, but washing them and measuring everything ahead of time (so I’m not late for work!) is a lot to be responsible for.  The main problem with this one is that I can’t find a good app to keep me in check! Yes, I am that girl…

DietBet (http://www.dietbetter.com/):  The concept of this is awesome – there are no restrictions, set diets, regimes, what have you…this one is all on you, but fuels the need for competition!  Pay some money, lose some weight, win some money?  I think yes!!

And so it begins…again.  But this time, I think I may be on the right track…I’m not following any one theory or program.  Instead, I’m just trying to see what I need to get healthy.  And that’s where the road will begin to curve….

Stress

I’ll admit it – I care what people think.

Have you picked your jaw up off the floor yet? Amazed that an almost 40 year old woman is still stuck feeling like an insecure teenager?

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

With that being said, I want to have nice things because I like nice things. But I also want to come across as fiscally responsible, yet carefree. A bit schizophrenic? I think yes.

Both Ry and I have been at our jobs for almost 9 years. We make a decent living, yet we have no savings, no nest egg, and are nowhere near where we should be on the retirement front. We basically can’t afford our lives. How the eff does that happen??

I used to be so carefree about money – no bank account, no credit cards, hoarding my waitressing tips in a coat pocket in my closet. Then I got a “real” job, and then I bought a house and had a child. Faceplant.

You know how people say “money doesn’t buy happiness”? It really would for me….I’ve already got the happy, now I need the means to fund it!

She is…

I thought I didn’t want kids.  I thought that for a very long time.  I felt very awkward and uncomfortable around small children, and especially babies.  And, as I got older, I found that I felt “too selfish” to have children.

I like being the center of attention.  I don’t like to share.

And then I met Ry, and we had “the talk” and he definitely wanted kids.  Uh oh.  And then I think I convinced myself that it may be kind of cool to create something that was part him and part me – I think I heard that in a movie once.

But secretly, deep down, I was still unsure.  Would I feel empty or alone if I didn’t have them?  Would people judge me for not having them?  Would I feel unimportant or secondary if I did have them?

I struggled with this for a really long time.  And then life got all weird and I was getting older and we just never got around to talking about it.  So somewhere along the way, we weren’t trying, but we weren’t not trying – you know?  And during this period of time, it was a constant volley of yes and no.

Two months after moving into our house, BOOM, there she blows!  Cue all the worry of above in addition to:  Could I do it?  Would I be a good mom?  How was I going to handle labor?  What about my anxiety? And so on and on and on and on….

Blah, blah, blah.  I remember life before Quinn.  It was fun and new and exciting.  Every day could be something new.  Fast forward to now, two and a half years later.  Life is MORE fun and new and exciting.  Every day IS something new.  Now that she’s here, I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

She’s my one and only, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Having her gave me the best of both worlds and answered all those questions of doubt and wonder.  Sometimes, you don’t know the right choice until after you’ve already made it. ♥

Q SB

Oops, I did it again?

Did I already say that I really like the idea of blogging?  I do, honestly, because I love to write and because I usually wake up talking.  With all the new technological options – laptops, tablets, phones – that allow for posting on the go, you’d think it would be easy peasy.

You’d be wrong.

Well, at least if you were me then you’d be wrong.  I think that I thought I needed time to write….not true.  No one is counting the number of words in each post.   If you are reading this, then I hope you are doing so because you want to read it.

The Year of Me was not so much, but with my history, that was to be expected.

I am taking this opportunity via post to reaffirm my desire to blog and to change and to be the best me I can be!!  I think I’ll start with that and you can check back tomorrow. ♥

Kristina's Krazy Adventure

A journey to health and conception and all the moments in between

Tales Of V

A blog that just wants you to think

Are You Finished Yet?

Trying to find some balance among the crazy!!

ZEIA

style and beauty

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